Menopause in your 20's

I, probably, would be the last person on earth to write on any biological phenomenon or bodily functions. My tryst with biology was severly severed (giggle..severly severed.. Frightfully frightened.. Readily ready giggle..giggle) after my Class X board exams. I used to mug up the terms & the various functions of different ventricle, enzymes & such ..and just write it out with the sole purpose of passing the exam. It is true that i have good marks in Botany & Zoology.. But thats because of my ability to do a faithful reproduction of the content in my textbook.

The only remote link i then had with the subject was the pictures in lab-record books i used to draw for my 'science-group but artistically non-inclined' friends. Even then these pictures fell short of academic expectations.. My lizards smiled, or the female Schistosomes haematobium coyly batted eyelids (?) at its male counterpart (or were they unisex?), human heart had a small compartment called 'Antonia Banderas'… Needless to say, my friends got in varying degrees of trouble.

But i digress.. This menopause, as i promised earlier, is nothing to do with blood & hormonal changes.. & even men can have it. Do you? Let's take the quiz.

1. You get out of bed in morning & the thought of going to office makes you want to curl back into the inviting warmth/coziness of your plush mattress.

2. You catch yourself wishing for a national holiday / strike / hartal / president's death so that you dont have to spend another day in that dreadful place.
3. You feel that the weekends are too far & too short in between & goes off even before it starts.

.. Did you say 'No' to all.. Hmmph.. Let us try again..

4. You have your CV/Resume updated…'just-in-case'.. Or worse, it is already uploaded in some job-hunting site or been sent to a friend to be 'referred' into his/her company.
5. You keep doing the 'what -if' situation in your head ( What if i had not been an engineer/manager/… What if i had chosen another college/job/company.. What if i take a loooong break..What if i sit in the toilet & dont come out till everybody is gone.. What if i break the keyboard on my boss's head…)
6. When you open your inbox, you wish that none of your friends/foes/classmates send you a 'Guess what.. I got a Promotion /New Job/ Onsite-Chance / VC Funding' mail.

Still 'No'?.. Man.. You are a tough cookie.. Or entreprenuer / artist / free-lancer / unemployed…aint ya?.. Ok.. Still one more qn: to go..

7. You wish you could do something 'more meaningful' with life.

Ha.. Gotcha.. Now grab a coffee, sit-down & let it out. It's ok. You are not alone. It is just the Career menopause. You feel you are completely clueless. In college one thinks that once one passes out, gets a job, gets some rave performance feedbacks.. It would all magically fall into place & your raison d'etre would somehow appear infront of you. It didn't happen. You took a post-grad / changed company and then thought 'aha..'.. But then, it is not quite completely there. Is it?

You know what you gotta do to get that promotion.. Or to get that onsite opportunity.. To get that increment.. But is it really what you want. How do you explain that little nagging feeling of confusion.. Of anxiety & maybe a bit of trepidition that you face? You keep thinking that your next milestone would hold the answer to all these questions. The next milestone could be a new job, a promotion, a role change, new location, or better financial security to just follow your heart's silly song.

So how do you get outta this rut? How do you ascertain if the grass is indeed greener on the otherside..or not? Well, like the typical consultant that i am, i would only hear your problems, look at your watch & tell you the time it shows…& maybe throw in some matrices as well. So here goes my matrix..

Well.. i am truly sorry that apart from putting in a stupid matrix, i cant really do more about this menopausal hitting of wall syndrome & symptoms some ,or rather, most of us show... Perhaps we could take comfort in the fact that it affects the best, mediocre & the worst amongst us.. misery does love company, doesnt it?

So the next time when you hear a friend or a colleague talking about his/her promotion or job-enlargement.. or wistfully about their childhood dream job.. you know what it is plagueing them..Just whisper to yourself CMP CMP CMP..and all would be fine for the day. And no, hitting your boss with the keyboard or hiding in the bathroom is not the answer...(although the hitting could help in releasing pent-up emotions!)...