Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Colour blind...

Time and again I have come across quite a lot of PJs, funny anecdotes, blogs on the 'female-shopping-syndrome' topic.. I agree that while there is a grain of truth to the matter (think of dresses as an investment, wont u be picky n choosy too? plus we happen to have much more aesthetic sense, ha),the not-so-fair sex too, is none the less finicky about their attires ...

I have been many a times unceremoniously abandoned by my friends when we go out together and I happen to see any combination of these words FREE,SALE,NEW ARRIVAL,DISCOUNT,REBATE,END OF SEASON displayed in the windows of shops. I lose all sense of time and bank balance (thank god for parents & technology for credit cards). I have bought up things which I haven't worn yet and stuff that I never will... Mainly because it was a steal at that time...If u call that compulsive shopping,then yes I do that. Once in a while I turn a new leaf and try controlling my urge to splurge (hey!! That rhymes..Urge to splurgee..Splurge to urgee...hahha)..

I walk into the ultimate temptation store Either Or with someone who actually wants to buy something and I sit on my hands and test my will power. Most times, I win. But then as an act of rewarding myself I go there the next week and .... hmm..

Oh I digress, abt the male species of homosapiens and the shopping syndrome that they never fail to mock given a chance... Sorry, I wont generalize here. I know most guys who go shopping with the colour/cut/brand/size of the shirt/tshirt/trouser/jeans/undergarments predecided..
they just saunter in and ask for a 'sky blue shirt full sleeve' and walk away with just that.All done and over with in 8 mins flat. Well, this rule does take an exception if the sales girl is cute.. Then the guy is ambiguity embodied... He'll dilly dally around,try on all the shirts, ask her for opinions ( "is it too tight around my biceps?","do u think I should have this in full sleeve or half sleeve.. people tell me I shouldn't hide my forearms,you know" or " Do u think this would go with my red merc/hayabusa?")

but as I said, men usually walk in , take what they get, don't usually alter the piece and be content with it.. I know, they waste their relationship skills on shopping.

I know one who takes the 'loyalty' aspect to the extreme.. We went shopping - me, my friends suvarna and Ali. Or rather Ali went shopping n we tagged along to offer our invaluable comments/advices. Now Ali is a not-too-difficult to please customer as long as u provide him eye-catching colored garments.. Eye-catching is putting it mildly.. When mood takes him, he wouldn't even look at a shirt which is not dyed in yellow (ranging from lemon to mango to the fluorescent variety) and orange (again ranging from the setting/rising sun, carrot hues, brick hues to the fluorescent variety). And at times, the metro-sexual bug gets to him an he suddenly finds it cool (or should I say uber-cool?) to wear shirt in delicate floral n paisleys which would put even a bottle of English Yardley talcum powder to shame.

This time he was in mood for orange...
We were in a store which was giving a discount on summer wear ; mainly men's shirts. Since suvarna n I were contemplating the marketing principles based on the pics of male models (we derived at the conclusion that the best way to advertise for a shirt is to have a bare chested male model, preferably john abraham or upen patel if ur target customer category is female and the same bare chested model placed strategically with few more similarly scantily clad female models would woo the male part of the customer population as well). Content with our new found principles of retail marketing, we gave scarce attention to what ali was upto..

An occasional glance around the store proved how disastrous our temporary lapse in attention had been. There amongst 3 orange shirt we find a very confused looking Ali. And yes, he is asking the sales girl's opinion as well.

what followed was a thorough battle of will power . Finally we somehow managed to convince him that 2 orange shirts and 2 orange t shirts that he already possess cannot not be termed insufficient and his glowing radiance and dazzling complexion would be better suited for more soothing colours like blue or green... Finally he conceded to our requests / blackmails and walked off with a green shirt...Albeit a pista shaded fluorescent one...

well, u cant have it all...

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

i'll have mine black please...

there are 2 kinds of ppl in this world..dog-lovers and cat-lovers..right??? wrong.. i tell u..there are 2 kinds of ppl in this world...tea drinkers and coffee drinkers.. those whooosies who say that they like both equally are lying. nobody can like no 2 things equally.. i tell u that..and thats the universal truth.
so what am i... i am a coffee addict. i prefer a murky bitter coffee (though thats not the way i like it) anyday to a 'however nicely made' tea. and in my office, one could always find me caressing the coffee machine - work or no work.alas..not anymore...its too much of a bother.

y?? u may ask...or even if u dont ask..i am blog-aly bound to tell u the heart wrenching story. in my office, we used to have a nice pantry section - atleast one for each floor. A coffee cum tea cum whitener cum soup machine brrrring happily in a sunny corner and lotsa nescafe mugs washed up and sparkling in a rack next to it. One, who is tired from all those coding and eyes all bleary due to staring into the black and green screens and fingers numb from all those intra msn messenger chatting, just need to drag himself over there to be rejuvenated. Get any cup from the rack, fill it up with whatever ur lil heart desires.. walk back to ur den and leave ur cup there for the office boys to pick up. That used to be our norm.Who cared for the 'please return the cups to the pantry after use' posters on the machines??? heck!! we are giving the office boys something worth while to do...

But now things have changed. There are no more cups. well, we aren't supposed to put our mouth directly under the dispenser and drink up, but we all have been given a mug each(what is this ??? some sort of a jail?? next thing we will be given a plate to be taken along to canteen).. all dull bleak white with the company logo prominently displayed in red. yuck... and worse, we have to wash it up ourselves..what crap i say!!

just 2 days after the mugs were distributed i promptly went and broke mine into a zillion pieces. that made buying a new coffee mug indispensible. always the one trying to stand out from a crowd, i scrouged the entire city for mugs with sexy/funny/philosophical quotes....all in vain. i remember a particular incident when a shopkeeper handed me a 'that-baby-bottle-mug-like-thing-with-three-holes-on-top' when asked for a mug.(maybe its my tousled hair and unkempt look which made him believe that i have a toddler at home and no time for myself). hhmmphh..ignoramus.the next one to be exhibited was a burning orange-lemon yellow one which is quite probable of causing temporary blindness if viewed under sunlight. the only thing that i found remotely worthy of being displayed in public was one with the zodiac sign printed on it..but again, it was for a capricorn.. and i am a libra. but generous me gifted it to a capri friend of mine.. he kept it in his kitchen shelf and never used it again. so much for gratitude.

finally, i got one for myself... one with beige and lilac vertical streaks with the words 'cappuccino' written on it. not much of a looker...and really big..
but some enlightening conversations at the pantry have provoked me to restart the hunt...excerpts being..

scene 1
me washing my mug up after having coffee..colleague comes up from behind...
colleague(very innocently): oh! cool...u have a pen stand too???

scene 2
me taking coffee. Colleague in queue behind me.
colleague (disgruntled): maybe i'll come after half an hour..u are gonna fill that up arent u?

.... that does it. i am gonna buy another one..