A dear friend reminded me the other day that i did have blog with a rather pretentious spanish name. And I finally admitted to myself that due to this blog's non-anonymous nature, i was not able to post some stuff without landing self into huge trouble at workplace... And then it became a habit, not writing about things which I feel strongly about. So here is my attempt to write about a train of thought i have been having for the past few weeks..it might hurt some feelings or break some illusions, but then, what is the point of having a space in the blogosphere if you cant call a spade a spade ?
Question is - Are opposite sex friends a poor proxy to your spouse ?Is friendship a stand-in until you have a marital relationship & life?
Before i take on a holier-than-thou attitude and start preaching on what & what does not constitute true friendship, let me confess my sins. I have probably lost more friends to sheer laziness in keeping in touch than i care to admit. But, this laziness was not aggravated even by a slight degree just because my Facebook status changed from 'single' to 'married'. I have always been a very lethargic person in terms of returning calls or writing mails.
But what is up with the guy-friends who had been there for me through thick & thin suddenly doing a MIA once they bite the bullet & tie the knot ? And no, I am not talking about the ones who a-la-Karan Johar says "Dosti hi pyaar hai..Love is friendship" and similar assorted bullshit. I can, with a very high degree of confidence, say that it was not a 'if you can't be my girlfriend, let us atleast remain friends' kind of relation i had with them. These were the guys who would completely forget I am a girl in the first place, the ones who would go through all single girls in my friends' list painstakingly to find the next one they could bribe me for the mobile number, the ones who had my back in my escapades, the ones who clarified what a particular cuss word meant, the ones who would put me in place, made me cry with their practical jokes & the ones who would cheer me up from the worst emotional doldrums.
One day he is doing a emotional blackmail on you to smooth talk to his parents/ girlfriends so that they do not push the 'get-your-sorry-ass-married-already' discussion. Next thing you know, he call up and wail for hours as to why his life is gonna be miserable coz the girl is now 'found'/ families have met and the bachelor days are numbered. Then you, like a idiot, console them with stories like 'married life isn't so bad...atleast you can share the rent and maybe she would do the laundry!'. And then comes the Q&A session with questions like 'Is it too early to gift sexy lingerie?' or 'Should i quit smoking coz she is asking me to?' and the shopping trips to perfume / jewellery / textile / soft toy stores where you basically given a budget to shop for his significant other with the only helpful guideline of 'make it look as if i have spent considerable time thinking about this gift' !
And by now with experience, that probably would be the last time he is gonna come to you when he wants a shoulder to cry on or an emotional sand bag to punch on. This would be the cue that your cameo role is his life is more or less over. Time to take a bow & exit, stage-left.
Another one of my guy-bestie is getting hitched this year end and i cant but sigh thinking that he too would, in all probability, walk the same road. I am happy that his wayward ways are gonna end, his mom can breathe a sigh of relief and his lungs & liver would write a 'thank you' note.. but i am also sad that my name is soon fall out of the 'most frequent called' list from his smart phone. And it is also the time i do a silent prayer to thank god for girlfriends.