Difference between Men & Women..yet another forward.

Since the advent of Internet some jobless specimens of human species have resorted to spend their time in very creative activities which they hope might win them a diploma in human psychology specially that of women. I personally think that the vast cyber world is filled with giga bytes and giga bytes of useless forwards and mailers on idiosyncrasies of women by such Sigmund Freuds.

A friend of mine happened to send across such a forward specially after a very heated argument on male chauvinism. Normally, I would have hit the delete button but this time I thought maybe I should retaliate.

For want of better things to write and keep the site traffic from dwindling(though i am sure this is of not gonna be much help), I am attaching the forward that I received and my reply. I would like to put a disclaimer that most of the replies are quite sarcastic and it is just a reflection of the foul mood that I was in plus the drying up of creative juices due to week long toiling over assignments and meeting deadlines(barely).

1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out,
they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom:
a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

And my reply was..

1.Names:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch,
they will call each other sweetie, sexy, chubby cheeks and cutie.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out,
they will affectionately refer using terms which cannot be uttered in public and that have a ghastly story attached to it.

2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will
(if in an all guys group) - excuse themselves to use the rest room so that the last bakraa pays.
- try hard to remember an occasion that one of the other member has missed out on giving a treat and shove the bill to him gallantly

(if any girl is present) - will gauge the mood as to whether she is offering to pay..pays if she doesn't..goes back home/hostel..and grumble n send forwards like the one attached above.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators - agreed.


3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs and misplace/damage/forget about it.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale and somehow figure out an ingenuous method of using it.


4. BATHROOMS:
A man has 2 items in the bathroom -
a toothbrush (which might also double up as a back scratcher when it itches) and a dusty razor.
with regards to soap n towel - they take bath when forced to by their moms or girlfriends..n end up using somebody else's soap n towel

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is high. A man would not be able to identify most of these items - cos he doesn't know the 'a b c' of personal grooming.


5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.- cos most of the time an apology ends the argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. - coz he just cannot let it be.

6. CATS:
Women love cats

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.- traits of unkind n sadistic behavior in which they indulge in from childhood days ... remember the 'lets beat the shit outta the new kid' activities that boys engage in?

7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.- then there is no need worrying abt something which is sure to be doomed.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. - he dint have the long sightedness to even think , let alone worry, about future until a lady enlightens him

8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who doesn't have to worry about the money that his wife spends
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.- and make more money than him

9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.- it's in his genes..the X chromosome
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.- she gives up hope of a better life

10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.- at other times he can be found(in a pair threadbare boxers) scratching his armpits n burping on a couch watching a sports channel in TV.

11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.- if u can call the prior-to-bed state as good looking....(good looking..peeheeeheee)
Women somehow look more warm and soft with the mellow sunlight streaming through the window and falling on her sleeping face.

If you have reached till this part of the post, just mail me your snail mail address and you have a surprise coming in post for being such a patronizing reader.