Saturday, January 03, 2009

He says... She says..

My single & available (lucky creepos) friends would fly down and kick me in the posterior side of anatomy with a well heeled shoe or throw stones at me if i even utter the M word. They say they have heard it too much from me to last a lifetime. The committed/tied-up ones empathise too much and say "i know..and over here it is.." and make me listen to their version of the story. That leaves me with not much choice other than blogging about it. Here i can use the M word without fearing a violent death. Marriage... phew.. that feels like a load off my chest, i say.

They say..it is all about give n take. The question is who gives?? and who takes?? I guess the score keeps changing.. and nobody truly wins and no-one loses either. Had the conversation between him & her been a part of a badminton, i am sure it would have topped the BWF World Championship's nail-biting anticipation as to who'd emerge the champion. You've serves, counter-serves, fakes, smashes, dropshots..and what-nots..

Rally 1:
He: Arrrgghhh.. there is hair covering every inch of the bathroom floor.
She: not mine.. yours..
He: Oh ya... i have hair which is 10 inches long??

Score 1-0
She: hmmph.. that's y i asked you to let me go to that spa thingie.. they do hair-fall cure spa massages.. only for 3000 bucks per sitting!
He: I got a better idea. Why dont we go off to thirupati and shave your entire head? No hair..no hairfall.. Easier on the wallet too!!

Score 2-0

Rally 2:
He: honey..where is my comb??
She: it's on top of the suitcase..under the clothes.
He: (rummages thru and finds the comb) y did u keep clothes on top my hair comb.
She: coz there aint any where else to keep them..you refused to buy a rack..and by the way, y keep the hair brush there?
He: Hair brush can be kept there. it can also be kept on top of the fridge, the mattress, coffee-table..where-ever i wish to keep it.

fault ..Score 2-1

She: darling ..i think you missed a turn there.. we are lost
He: uh..no, we aren't.. i still have that thing called direction sense.. i can make it out.
She: cant we just ask someone. Am sure they would be able to help us out.
He: But i dont need any directions. I got it all figured out..
(more turns and twists later)He: We wud've reached home by now only if i did not listen to you while taking that turn. Next time when i drive nobody gives directions.

fault... Score 2-2

She: no...no...NOOOOO.. we are not gonna buy one more thing that start with a lower case i. i've had enuf of this madness.
He: you've 2 tubes of face-wash
She: correction, one face wash n one face scrub
He: whatever.. 2 tubs of that ugggh smelling cream
She: day wear & night wear.
He: hmmph.. and 2 dozen sticks of that lip-color
She : you cant expect me to use the same color lipstick for all dresses..
He: of coz not... but if i want 2 ipods?? that's too much???

(umpire has given up on the score keeping)

She: i do feel really strongly about this issue (issue = any arbit variable can be put in here)..
He: but, it is really not a big thing honey.. you shouldnt get upset about it at all
She: oh but i am... this is something which is important to me..and it bothers me.
He: but honey.. what i am saying is.. if u just think of this as non-significant, it wont bother you much..can't you get that?
She: So what you are really telling me is... though you know i feel this is important..and hence bothered by it.. you would rather belittle the significance i have placed on this and play it down so that i feel stupid about being bothered about it and shut up..instead of doing something about it so that i feel better about the notion that you have put in your efforts for something that is not significant for you normally...but important for you by virtue of being important for me??? is that what you are trying to say???
He: huh..uh..hmm.. wha..???

(umpire baffled..quits job and takes up Art of Living classes)

7 comments:

edson_dias said...

I find it quite difficult putting up with anyone. I think it's very important to live with the person for a few years before getting married.

Shilpa said...

Awesome one. As always, brilliant sense of humour. And you know, i get that hair spa thing done for 500 bucks! I totally need it anyway!

Anand said...

haha... Probably if you had a Boyfriend you would be writing this Blog a long time back....In that case it would have been the Strong Deo he uses,or his torn jeans or his loud motor bike or his Friends that would be a reason of arguement ,instead of the comb,hair,lipsticks etc....and he would have been complaining about the time you would spend on shopping for a Tshirt,or probably irritating you by questioning your intelligence or calling you a paper engineer etc etc .....Anyways.Good to see ur Blog after a very very long time.... Keep Writing...

keerthy karthikeyan said...

@edson: a good idea..but then how many ones can one try before finally throwing in the towel? there are adjustments minor/major if 2 ppl are to stay together.. the qn: is ..how much can you take?

@shilpa: 500 bucks?? i'm being fleeced!!!

@anand: each to his/her own sandbag i say :)

Arslan said...

How come there weren't any winners by you? Only winners or faults from him.. Or is that coz you have a defensive game?

Preeti Edul said...

Nice one ! Liked it !

Balaraman (Bala) said...

Reading your blog after a really long time.. Are mallus always super duper bloggers? The last para was too good lol