Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Case of the missing mobile and toilet flush

Last weekend I spent 1 hr flushing the closet in my bathroom to locate my cell phone. Weird technology??? No, just really absent minded room mate. Before any of u reading this blog (peeheee..ppl reading this blog, whom am I kidding.. I am talking abt me, myself and some dear colleagues of mine whom I bribe to read this) jump into any hasty conclusion, my roomie did not eat the cell phone and then let nature take its path. It was not in the closet to begin with. Now that I have built up an interesting (do I hear ppl snickering?) scene, let me fill in the history and details..

I live with 3 other equally socially incompetent people.. No, that was really mean. They are socially very competent, but try to be on par with me when they are at home with me. Losing cell phones is a daily event. People who can lose something in addition to cell phones and find them before the next morning are considered champions. Reigning champion is SweDi who manage to lose her specs, cell,hair band,hand bag, comb,apartment keys and dupatta in one go. Next would be me. I try topping SweDi with cell phone, charger, bike keys...But in vain.

After 12 o' clock in the night, when everyone is home...We organize the search party.. It is jolly good fun throwing stuff all around trying to find the treasure. By the time we find it, we might have accidentally buried something else and it becomes the treasure for the next day. Don't be fooled that our neighbor's suffer this hullaboo in silence. At about 1 o' clock, we get the routine call from the security guard down stairs to keep our voice down.. We take turns attending the call too..

Security guard (SG): madam, do I have to say this every night?..

me: huh?? What?? U don't really have to wish us good night.

sg: no, to keep ur noise down. It is 1 o clock in the night. One needs to sleep, you see...

me: hey, u r on night duty... I should report this to the society chairman.

sg: no, not me, madam.. I stay awake.. Other people needs to sleep. They shout at me.

me: they shout as well??

sg: yes, they shout ..

me: see, its coz of them then... Its the collective noise which makes it unbearable..I was thinking of calling you up to complain.

sg:(seeing this is getting nowhere) just keep it down please

me: what?? The phone??

sg: (heavy sigh) noise..ugh..Do whatever u want.. Good night.

me: (patronizing tone) see I told u that u don't have to wish us good night every night..So sweet .

similar exasperatingly obtuse conversation happens everyday.. Well, about the toilet and cell phone treasure hunt. This time, I lost my cell phone.. No I did not exactly lose it.. I clearly remember keeping it along with the daily newspaper in the living room and when I came back after sometime, it was not there.. Paper n phone..All swoosh.. Into thin air. Now the main requirement for this hunt is that nobody shud have any idea where the lost item is. To make it even more fun, they shud come up with contradicting memory shots.

tracking cell phones are easier compared to other items. Due to its ringing tone facility.. But woe befall you if u ever happen to keep it in silent and then go ahead and lose it. Well, I asked my other room mate(AnPal) who wasn't very keen to hunt to keep on giving missed calls in my number and we started scourging the apartment.

After half an hour of searching SweDi decides to use the Jane (we don't call our loo as John) and seconds later she scrambles out crying Eureka... Along with the flush she can hear the cell ringing.. Now, me, SweDi and ReSin are all huddled around the flush straining to hear the ringtone 'Jalak Dikhlaa Jaa' (so very apt) along with the flush. And, we can...!!!

We make SweDi go over each and every item of food that she ate that evening and don't find cell phone as an item. In between we keep flushing to entertain ourselves with the ringtone.. 1 hour of flushing and a half empty sanitary tank later, we find that the song is coming from the window next to the closet. Peer thru the window and we find our waste basket in the hallway singing happily and vibrating as well..(by some weird coincidence AnPal was giving missed calls exaclty the same time we flush)

Case solved. SweDi had scrounged up the newspaper(along with my phone) when she spilled milk on it and put it out in the dustbin in an attempt to clean up the living room. Next week, she says she is gonna tidy up the whole house.. Hope we still have our T.V. after that happens.


calvin said...

ROFLAO !!.. Humour is something thats to be attempted only after hours of contemplation..Fantastic dude , just fantastic.

btw I am still not lying OK ..

Maverick said...


well now all u need is to come up with more frequent posts lady. hope a lesss busy shedule after ur resignation will allow u to do that, nyway that was hilarious :)

Alit said...

Well... quite a phoney tale this -;)

keerthy said...

@aashik, @maverick : [taking a deep bow] thank you. yes, i too hope i would be able to come up with more blogs..or atleast interesting ones..

@alit : swear to god there is no level of exaggeration in this.. it is all true.

Alit said...

oh! god!, it was only a pun dear!

Red Lad said...

I wud lik to help u..i can giv u missed calls..jus kddin.. nice work..;)

keerthy said...

@alit: got that..

@red lad: finally someone offered to help..thanks.

Anonymous said...

Is it really true??

If yes, I pity you !! A person like this can really improve !!


keerthy said...

@anonymous/sands: is actually true.
and by the phrase 'a person like this', i hope u mean me and not SweDi. atlast i find someone who says there is a chance for improvement.

Ed Viswanathan said...

I like your style of writing. You should write and publish short stories, then a novel..Just suggesting..If you have already published something, let me know.Take care

keerthy said...

@ed: (reading your comment for the 236th time) thank you sir..for being so very kind. suggestion taken with due seriousness. i will try writing.